Sunday, July 23, 2017

A compassionate confrontation


It is by way of compassionate confrontation of the shaky, the raw, the tender, and the vulnerable that we dance within the opposites and provide sanctuary for the unconscious to come into form. It is always possible to weave a new story, to dream a different dream, and to discover new meaning.

Though often forgotten in the busyness of the inner and outer worlds – and entangled in the unending conventional and spiritual to-do lists – the allies are never far. Whether taking form as another person, a feeling, the moon, an animal, or a vision, love is at all times shifting shapes in order to make itself known here.

At times, the ally will appear in sweet, peaceful, and calming forms; obvious, noticeable, and easy to integrate. Let us be grateful for the messengers of the light when they dance in clear form.

At other times, the manifestation will be fierce, wrathful, and of the dark, oriented not in peace, but in wholeness. While not as natural, we can come to be grateful for this one as well, who despite its appearance, has come not to harm, but to reveal. All revelation requires both creation and destruction. We cannot have one without the other.

Inside the darkness is a jewel only found there. It is not containable by the light and not accessible by pathways of clarity, certainty, quiet, and peace. While the mind may turn from the love and creativity buried inside the shadows, the heart knows. The body knows.


My new book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 

The Way of Rest summer retreat – as of June 30 there are a few seats left




Friday, July 21, 2017

Behind the clouds of separation


As long as you remain tangled in the trance of unworthiness, you will inevitably postpone fully being here, and continue to place the burden of your unlived life on those around you.

Look carefully and see how the orphaned pieces of your body, of your heart, and of your nervous system continue to appear as your partners, your family, your children, your friends, and even as the colors in an erupting summer sunset.

As you slow down and turn back into the aliveness within you, the invitation is to dare to see that you were never unhealed, that nothing is missing, and that by infusing your immediate experience with presence, with warmth, and with kindness that you can re-author the story.

You can go back into the surging feelings, emotions, and sensations that the old narrative has safeguarded you from, and see, finally, once and for all, if you still need to be protected from the raw, naked activity of life, of love, and what it truly means to be a sensitive, vulnerable, awake human being.

Not after you clean up your past, not after you feel safe all the time, not after you heal all your wounds, not after you find your “soulmate,” not after you manifest great things, not after you replace the hopelessness with hope, and not after you find answers to all your questions. But now.

Honor the role that the dream characters have played in your life until now – the unlovable one, the unworthy one, the broken one, and the failed one. You need not go to war with these ones. You need not send them away, practice aggression toward them, heal them, or let them go. For they will let go of you when they are no longer needed to protect you from the aliveness of your own heart.

To let in the implications of this is utterly exhilarating. And completely terrifying simultaneously. One world is ending so that the true world may appear from behind the clouds of separation.


My new book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 

The Way of Rest summer retreat – as of June 30 there are a few seats left




Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Pain is not pathology


At times, you may be asked to sit with another who has been touched by the darkness. To allow them to fall apart in your arms, to unravel, to be without hope, and to feel lost. You may sense there is some sort of wisdom unfolding, but it is chaotic, groundless, and not easy to stay with.

While it is natural to want to do whatever you can to help them feel better, listen carefully to what it is they are truly asking for. Extend to them a calm, regulated nervous system, where their experience can be validated and held, exactly as it is. Ensure them – with words and with your presence – that they need not ‘get over it,’ ‘accept everything as it is,’ shift into a ‘higher vibration,’ ‘stay in the present,’ be cured, transformed, or ‘healed’ in order for you to stay close, and to love them.

To provide such an environment for another, you must first offer safe passage for the unmetabolized in yourself: the unmet sadness, abandoned shame, discarded grief, disavowed hopelessness, and deserted aloneness. If not, you may find yourself rushing to talk the other out of their experience, urgently spinning to relieve them of their feelings as a way to cut into your own anxiety and discomfort. All the while subtly and unconsciously disavowing the raging intelligence buried within the dark.

Together with them, make the commitment to not pathologize their experience. Pain is not pathology. Hopelessness is not pathology. Grief is not pathology. Shame and rage are not pathology. They are path. Seed this wisdom into the relational field and watch in awe as a new world unfolds.

As you attune to the ‘other’ in front of you – as well as to the alchemical ‘other’ within – feel the creative flow of love as it fills the space between, crafting you both as vessels of sanctuary for the pieces of the broken world, for the shards of confusion, and for the crumbled hopes and dreams that have dissolved in front of your eyes. Honor the holy truth that the forms that love take will always fall apart – for this is their nature – in order that they may come back together in more integrated and cohesive ways.

Within the aliveness of the relational field – despite the pain of the present, the traumas of the past, and the broken dreams of the future – you may see that it was only love after all, taking whatever form it must so that it may unfold itself into this world, in ways the mind will never understand.

Please do whatever you can to help others in whatever way you are able: attune to them, validate their feelings, listen carefully to what they are saying, and how they are making meaning of their lives. Feed them, hold them, speak kindly to them, allow them be what they are. And remind them that love is here and is alive.


My new book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 

The Way of Rest summer retreat – as of June 30 there are a few seats left