Monday, May 21, 2018

Lost and found


A moment of mindfulness, presence, and non-judgmental compassion. For an instant, the ancient circuitry of self-abandonment is replaced with pathways of empathic attunement. A moment of rest from habitual consciousness, repetitive thinking, that panicky feeling in the belly, the worry that something is wrong.

In the next moment, we have left the spontaneity of now and traveled into past or future, drawn magnetically to the images, memories, daydreams, and confusion of conflicting narrative and contradictory feeling. It can feel like falling down a rabbit hole. But like Alice in her journeys into Wonderland, things are not often as they appear.

When seen with open eyes and tender heart, even the falling itself is perceived as it is—as some wild kind of grace and invitation into the archetypal dance of hide and seek. In the original illustrations, when Alice is falling, we see that she encounters pieces of psyche and soma that she has lost along the way, in trying to fit in to a world that was too fixed and solid to stay with the majestic imagination of a ripening little being.

The Cheshire cat is sure to be nearby, a new hermetic guide to the underworld, revealing the borderline and transitions and the creativity found only in embodied attunement to the unknown.

When you notice that you have fallen, realize that the mystery has opened. While the temptation is to conclude that you have failed, the invitation is into curiosity and imagination, to become fascinated with what it is like to become distracted and the gloriousness of even that… to touch the mystery of lost and found and very gently return into the spaciousness of now. Only to become lost once again, and then found, and then lost, and then…

The fantasy of being “permanently” found is washed away by love itself, who wants only all of you, not just the one who believes they have been found.



My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado 

Friday, May 18, 2018

The companions of shame and unworthiness


To cleanse and dissolve the lenses of unworthiness, shame, narcissism, and self-absorption require the willingness to confront and integrate a certain sort of upheaval in our psychic reality (not to mention our intimate relationships) and we will be asked to reorient in ways that we cannot know beforehand.

For example, if we are no longer able to engage in relationship from the ground of our own unworthiness - or our work in the world from our own sense of poverty and fear - how will we engage? If those familiar reference points are no longer available in quite the same way, what will we organize around? Our unworthiness and fear have become such integrated fellow travelers that we cannot know ahead of time what it will be like to be in the world without their companionship.

Yes, there is a certain excitement and thrill in this, but it can generate quite a lot of anxiety, trepidation, and disorientation in lived experience. The invitation is to be kind to ourselves during these times of transition and contradiction, honoring the actualities of what it means to encode new circuitry, to choose something different, to re-imagine a new way.

We will never reorganize the patterns of a lifetime by means of self-aggression and self-abandonment, which will only reinforce the realities of early empathic failure and the shame which arose from the deep sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with us.

Yes, awareness, clarity, and insight are critical. They are necessary, but not sufficient. We all “know” what we need to do. At some point it becomes a practice of the heart, where love is revealed to be the ultimate medicine.



My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Oneness and multiplicity


The goal is not to eliminate multiplicity and scramble to replace it with oneness, but something a bit messier, more creative, more fertile, more earthy. A bit more risky, not as clean, white, solar, or safe.

When we become too literalized in our fantasies of unity and oneness—and also in those of multiplicity and separation—we lose touch with the mystery that these concepts can only point to, but never embody.

We can play in the mountain peaks of unity and oneness, and also in the rich, lush generative meadows of separation and multiplicity, without taking sides. Willing to fully participate in each, as equal expressions of the beloved.





My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado